Harry Potter and the Pussycat Dolls
by LadyPotter27
Summary: The Pussycat Dolls are at Hogwarts, and Harry and his male friends and enemies fall into a deep trance over them
1. Chapter 1

Harry Potter and the Pussycat Dolls 

**Disclaimer: I'd like to introduce my dolls in the world of magical Harry Potter, owned by J.K. Rowling. **

Harry and Hermione were eating the breakfast in the great hall, feeling the crispy cornflakes in their mouth everytime they chewed.

"Mm…" Harry said, "The Durlseys would never let me eat this. Assholes." Harry said, bitterly. But soon his face lightened at the sight of delicious and sparking cornflakes. Tony the Tiger smiled on the box, as this was sent from Hermione's muggle parents, the Tony the Tiger could not move.

"Yes, it is my favourite cereal of all time. It totally beats out Witchy Flaky." Hermione said, eyeing the expensive magical cereal that Draco was eating. "I personally asked my mum to send me it," she said proudly.

"Attention, please!" Albus Dumbledore clapped his hands. "We will have a special guest from the world of muggles." He said, his blue eyes sparkling just like Harry's cornflakes.

"The Pussycat Dolls will be arriving tonight, as our special guests of the muggle world of R&B…" Dumbledore said, squinting at the parchment, "because they have won the 'Who can dance the best' contest in Los _Anglees._" Dumbledore finished.

"Angeles," Hermione said, rolling her eyes.

Draco looked outraged, "a muggle dance group? What the merlin?" he said, spitting on his toast.

Harry had never heard about this, even though Dudley was into some raunchy british girls. But, the Pussycat Dolls weren't British, he thought.

"You say that now, but when you actually see them Malfoy, you'd be a little more happy than that," Hermione said to Malfoy, eyeing his ugly look on his face. (Although, it is totally impossible)

Harry felt a slight squirm in his stomach. He couldn't wait to see the Pussycat Dolls. Or whatever they were called.

Ron ran up to their table, panting. "Have you guys heard? The Pussycat Dolls are coming – tonight!" he said, his eyes hungry for Harry's cornflakes.

Harry darkly protected his last bits of cornflakes. "Of course I have, Dumbledore just told us."

"Look at them! They're the finest ladies of this world!" Seamus said, holding up a stationary photo of a group of girls.

Harry and Ron eagerly looked at it.

There were six girls in total, in their very revealing clothes of different shades. Two of them were dark haired, two of them were blondes, one was red headed, and the other was tanned with dirty blonde hair.

"She's hot,"

"She's good looking"

The boys pointed out each girls that they preferred.

"What is that you're looking at Weasley?" Malfoy's voice rang. "Poor Weasle, are you that poor? You can't even afford a proper photo so you go collecting muggle ones?" Malfoy laughed.

Ron hid the photo from Malfoy's grey eyes. "Wait 'til you see them, Malfoy" he said, his eyes not leaving the picture of the Pussycat Dolls.

It struck 7 pm, and all the students gathered around the Great Hall to greet the Pussycat Dolls.

Dumbledore was in his finest robes, purple with shiniest stars Harry had ever seen. Even Snape seemed like he had washed his hair for the first time in his life. His nose was less greasy.

Students were excitedly talking about the Pussycat Dolls, how there were six of them, and that they were really popular in the muggle world.

Harry and Ron were apprehensive as Dumbledore finally clapped his hands, and said "Please, welcome our ladies!"

Out of nowhere, a loud and fast song burst in the Great Hall. It was very exciting and seducing and fun at the same time, Harry thought. And then everybody wowed at the Oak Doors, and Ron and Harry immediately turned their heads towards it, which was now open with six girls dancing flirtatiously and walking at the same time. The dark haired and tanned girl at the front was singing, and the rest were singing along and dancing. All the boys seemed to go into some sort of a trance, their eyes wide open, their mouths drooling, as if they were being enchanted by muggles for the first time in their life.

"Loosen up my buttons babe," The girl at the front sang in her classically sexy and confident voice. The rest were wiggling their bodies in a way that gave Harry butterflies in his stomach.

"How do they move their bodies like that? Honestly?" Hermione said in disgust, but she didn't take her eyes off them either.

The whole Hall was filled with this new hip hop music, and the students had a strong urge to dance to it.

Finally the song ended, and the girls came into a pose. Harry clapped the loudest, although the students were now cheering and shouting, Fred Weasley giving a loud wolf whistle. Harry felt his testosterone rising to a higher level.

The girls smiled prettily and bowed in their half naked clothes. They were muggle clothes, Harry thought. But a lot more stylish and nice.

Even Malfoy seemed to be struck with this unusual guests. He seemed to be petrified, and Harry saw a faint liquid sparkling on the corner of his mouth. Smirking, Harry turned to look at the gorgeous Dolls. The dark haired one at the back seemed to interest him the most. The blond one with bangs was cute, too.

Lee Jordan, on the other hand, seemed to be drooling over the tanned girl with dirty blondish hair.

Even Dumbledore seemed to be in a trance. Although he smiled warmly. 'Now, for our special thanks, we shall sort our er-Miss Pussycat Dolls!"

The girls smiled brightly, and lined up to get sorted. McGonagall had a light frown on her face as if she was being told to do something that she'd hate to do. She held the old hat, which was smiling at the sight of such beautiful human beings.

"Bachar, Carmit!" McGonagall yelled.

The red haired girl stepped up to the front. "Um, excuse me, but it's like pronounced, _Carmeet._" She said.

Ginny looked at her as if she was her future idol.

McGonagall gave a mere nod, her eyes now in permanent frown.

Carmit walked and sat on the 3 legged stool, and McGonagall placed the hat on her bright red head.

"Yumm…" The sorting hat moaned.

"_Go on with the sorting_!" McGonagall barked.

"Oh, yes, sorry. Hmm..what a high spirited and fun mind you've got missy, very full of life and energy and bold…you must be in…_Gryffindor_!" the hat shouted.

The Gryffindors (at least the males) stood up like wildcats and clapped and screamed and did everything you could imagine of. Especially Fred and George stood up on the table and started jumping up and down, screaming like maniacs. Hermione rolled her eyes. "Oh, my, merlin."

Carmit smiled broadly and sat down. In Harry's opinion, she wasn't the best looking. Still, he felt happy.

"Roberts, Ashley!" the sorting hat yelled.

The shorter blonde haired girl smiled and sat on the stool, in her little satin shorts. She had a cute smile, Harry thought, but Ron seemed to go heads over heels at her. He couldn't stop gaping, and Harry heard him mutter, "Beautiful,". In Harry's opinion, this was worse than when he had first met Fleur Delacour.

Hermione gave an impatient 'tut'.

"What a fine personality you've got, a blissful trait of innocence and youth, kind and caring…" the hat lingered for a moment, as to savour this special moment. "well, better be in…Hufflepuff!"

The entire Hufflepuffs stood up, cheering loudly, even Cedric Diggory. But the other houses were cheering for her, too. The cute blonde ran towards her new table, smiling brightly.

"Scherzinger, Nicole!"

The dark skinned girl with black hair who sang the lead walked up. She was tall and very model-esque. Fred and George cheered. The girl winked at them, and Harry swore he saw George breaking the metal spoon in half.

"Mmm…what a ambitious mind, I see. Very eager, and likes to lead, but also brave. Very cunning too." Nicole smiled wider. "I say…Slytherin!" the hat yelled.

Harry saw Draco Malfoy scream like a girl, and also the loudest. Sniggering, he saw as Nicole walked to their table, grinning happily.

So far three of them were sorted. Harry looked back at the remaining three, one of them whom Harry started to develop a crush on.

"Sutta, Jessica!" McGonagall yelled, her eyes on the parchment, not bothering to look at the girls.

The dark haired girl with fair skin stepped up, and sat on the stool. Harry sat upright in his seat, his blood pounding in his ears. He saw Malfoy do the same.

'I'm getting this one,' Harry thought, looking at Malfoy fiercely.

"Hmm…very elegant and also very fun, what an old –fashioned style you've got young lady, but also very fun and energetic at times…" the girl shifted in her seat. "I say….Gryffindor!"

Harry couldn't believe it as he stood up and yelled and saw Jessica come and sit as his table. She was fine, gorgeous, everything! Harry felt his heart melt.

"Thornton, Melody!"

The shortest of the girls walked up. Her dark skin and her lighter hair made a good contrast. He saw Lee Jordan looking at her with genuine interest.

"A very big mind and great ambition, you have, I see." The hat said, "A big heart, too and very clever…you will go very far in…Ravenclaw!"

The Ravenclaw cheered the loudest, now that they have finally gotten a doll at their table. Melody smiled and ran to it, her hair bouncing up and down cutely.

"Wyatt, Kimberly!"

The last remaining girl with light eyes and blonde hair walked up to the stool. Harry thought she was absolutely gorgeous.

The hat thought for a moment, and muttered to himself. "I say this is my personal favourite…shy but very wild at times. Looks don't hurt either," the hat said. "And a clever mind, too. And very ambitious. I say…Ravenclaw!"

The Ravenclaw table cheered once again, and greeted their new guest.

Dumbledore happily stood up to make his final speech.

"I'd like to congratulate our Pussycat Dolls, for being sorted. Miss Carmit and Jessica in Gryffindor, Miss Ashley in Hufflepuff, Miss Melody and Kimberly in Ravenclaw, and Miss Nicole, in Slytherin."

The whole shool cheered and clapped. The dolls stood up and bowed, once more.

"Everybody, bed time! Chop chop!"

But of course, nobody wanted to. Harry hurried up to catch up to the girls now sorted in his house.

**LOL! PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! IT MEANS A LOT! THANKS**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 

**When Harry experiences his explosion of testosterone. **

Next morning, Harry burst out of bed without even putting on his socks properly and splashed water on his face, making the rest of the bathroom wet with water. He had dreamt about their new guests, Jessica and Ashley peeking into the boys' dormitory, asking him if there were any spare beds left. They were wearing tank tops and short shorts, and seemed tired. Therefore, Harry kindly gave them his bed. They were quite reluctant to take it, but Harry insisted that he could always go sleep in the Common Room. Then the girls and Harry had a pleasurable time arguing about taking or not taking his bed. He knew he had to be there to see them…before other pubescent boys got to the gorgeous dolls.

_This is war _he thought, grasping hard on the hand rails of the stairway as he sped down to the common room. He had barely managed to put on his shirt and robes and pants, and had left his bed a mess, his lamp knocked out, and his trunk wide open for everybody to see and dig in for his secret diary. But Harry did not care. The images of Jessica and Kimberly flashed through his mind like a raw meat on a dog's mind. Their laughing smiles, dimples, beautiful skin and eyes twinkling.

Harry growled as he saw a line up of boys from all over the houses, holding pens and papers, with extra caution paid to their appearances. For example, Roger Davis had his gel so thick on his hair that not even a hurricane could move it. As Harry got closer, he sniffed in a very strong odour of David Beckham's Body Cologne everywhere. Then it turned to something else that smelled extraordinarily raunchy. Harry stopped and looked at himself. He wasn't looking his best, really. Glaring over at Draco Malfoy, who was not 4th in line and was getting pretty excited just by looking at his face, Harry could see a big contrast in between them, despite of Malfoy's ugly pointy nose.

Harry sighed, but did not give up. He waited and waited, bearing looks from much bigger and buff boys from Ravenclaw in front him giving him a funny look.

Suddenly a girl screamed.

Jolting, Harry looked in the direction.

"AMIGWD! YOU ARE HARRY POTTER!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHH!!" Nicole screamed loudly and ran towards him, her black hair dancing behind her, her beautiful arms stretched afar, towards _him, _her long legs gracefully dancing at his direction.

Harry said, "aeuuh" and acted like a little boy having a seizure. Soon he was captivated in Nicole's arms, soon into her bosom as Nicole frantically searched for Harry's raw and perfectly shaped, vulnerable scar of a lightning bolt, laid out gracefully on Harry's fair forehead.

"I heard _so_ much about you, Harry, and it was my dream to meet you!" Nicole exclaimed.

_Really? It was my dream to meet you. _Harry thought. Soon he noticed the rest of the dolls walking towards him.

"Oh my gosh, he's so cute!" Jessica smiled happily, showing her wide, beautiful smile. Harry automatically smiled.

"Thanks," it took Harry million times the strength he put into Quidditch match against Slytherin to say it, looking at her in the eyes. Harry blushed furiously.

"Aw, what a _tres, tres mignon _boy," Carmit looked at him adoringly. Personally Harry thought she reminded him of Dursley's old aunt named Sarah. But he did like how she dressed in maroon coloured robe that had been switched to a racer back halter top.

"He is a handsome boy!" Kimberly piped in. God, she was so beautiful.

"Roger! Take a picture with the famous Harry boy!" Nicole yelled at the American Roger, a man with bald head with two piercings and who was wearing a Black Eyed Peas t-shirt, who came over with a huge muggle-camera.

The dolls cheesed around Harry, hugging and grabbing him from all directions. Harry noticed Draco gritting his teeth like a mad bull on the left, and he smiled even wider.

"Oh, posh, those muggle cameras, try our new witch-invented ones, the pictures move!" short Professor Flitwick desperately yelled to get their attention.

"Oh okay," Carmit said, observing carefully. Melody went over, looking interested.

"All right, one, two, three-"

"CHEEEEEEEEEESE!" the voices rang out.

Harry was in cloud two hundred. No, infinity. There they were, beautiful six dolls (almost all) scratching his ears, adoringly looking at his forehead, touching his arms and hair, telling jokes and laughing.

Draco Malfoy was desperate to get to Nicole, who had been the leader and the only doll to have been sorted into the Slytherin house. He finally managed to get a hug and a kiss on the cheek from her, and Harry swore when he did, Draco awfully resembled Uncle Vernon receiving a 80 reduced bill payment on a Sunday morning with ham and bacons double sized for breakfast. Tutting, Harry turned around, face to face with an angry Hermione.

"Oh hi hermione," Harry said, sounding a bit scared.

"Harry, do you know what day it is?" Hermione sneered.

"Um, nine?" Harry said, caring less about the time. Or the date. Whatever it was.

"It's Ron's bloody birthday." Hermione growled through her gritted teeth, almost visible steam soaring out of her nostrils.

"Oh," Harry felt a sharp pang in his stomach.

"Oh?" Hermione said, "Is that all you say?!! OH?!!" Hermione screeched, rising fast to the Howler volume level.

"I'm sorry, Hermione, I-I really am-"

"You bloody traitor!" Hermione yelled, now everybody was looking at her. Her bushy hair pointed in every direction, which probably annoyed more now that she had to compare them with the Pussycat Dolls' perfect ones. She shook with fury, piercing into every little inch into Harry's skin.

"Hermione! Will you get a grip? I'm sorry!" Harry apologized desperately. He really was.

"I just, lost track of time because-" Harry started an explanation.

"Oh, because of _those _useless skanks?" Hermione screamed. Harry heard one of the doll's gasp, and wished that he was now forty feet under.

"Hermione, shut up, what if they hear you-" Harry gritted his teeth and looked at her with warning.

"Oh, they heard me, now you're afraid of THEM? Harry! I don't _care _if they hear me! I wish! I bet they have! Those American sluts! Your bestfriend's birthday is today, and you think today is-" Hermione seemed to explode, danger dangling in her eyes. "Oh, rubbish, YOU ARE A RUBBISH HARRY!"

And with that, Hermione stomped out of the Great Hall.

Harry stood there, motionless. His shock in finding out that he had missed his best friend's birthday had been newly replaced by the over-reacting Hermione and the shocked look on the Pussycat Dolls' faces.

"I'm sorry," Harry muttered, scarlett in the face to match his shirt.

He noticed Draco smile with pride, and mutter something like 'mudblood'. Harry raced back to his dormitory, not stopping until he was back at his bedside.


End file.
